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If you have interacted with a cat before, then you know they can sometimes be difficult to establish a close relationship with. Cats are unique creatures that have needs very different from other pets. To some, their behavior can even can come off as standoffish and shy. This is why cats are often misunderstood, leaving owners confused or frustrated. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways — scientific ways — to establish a loving relationship with a cat. So, if you’re struggling to make a connection with your feline friend, you’ve come to the right place. Now, let’s go over 10 scientifically proven ways to get a cat to love you!
1. Become Familiar With Cat Body Language
Understanding how your cat is feeling is the first step to establishing a loving, trusting relationship with them. By observing their behavior, you can better understand how they react and feel about certain situations. So when you are interacting with your cat, watch their reactions closely.
If your cat has very large pupils, their claws are unsheathed, or they are backing away from you, they may not be enjoying your affection. However, if they are leaning into you, have their paws tucked, and their eyes are moving slowly, these are positive indications! Watching a cat’s face is one of the best ways to read its mood. Their eyes, ears, whiskers, and mouth can all be used to determine how they are feeling.
Examples of Happy Cat Behaviors
- Eyes: Slowly blinking, relaxed eye movements, half-closed eyelids
- Ears: Forward-facing ears
- Whiskers: Forward-facing, alert whiskers
- Mouth: Purring
Examples Of Stressed Cat Behaviors
- Eyes: Quickly glancing around, restless, fully dilated pupils, staring intently
- Ears: Pinned to head
- Whiskers: Pulled back whiskers
- Mouth: Hissing, baring teeth, nipping
2. Respect Their Space
One of the most important things to understand about cats is that they really value their space. Cats are very individualistic creatures who enjoy solitude. However, that does not mean they don’t enjoy your company. It’s all about balance. Learning to respect your cat’s space and give them alone time is very important in establishing a loving relationship with them.
Showing your cat respect and allowing them to feel safe and secure enough to seek you out is also incredibly important. As much as you may want to show them tons of love and kisses, they might not be in the mood for that. With this in mind, be prepared for possible rejection, and don’t take it personally if rejection happens. Accept that they need lots of space to feel the full extent of your love.
3. Pet Them (Where They Like Being Petted)
Believe it or not, cats enjoy being petted just like dogs do! Petting mimics a cat’s natural instinct to groom and be groomed by other cats. However, it is important to know where they like being petted as they are very sensitive and reactive creatures. Unlike dogs, cats typically do not enjoy being touched on the stomach, so that area should be avoided. Though every cat is different, generally their heads, backs, and shoulders are enjoyable places to be pet. Most cats enjoy some scratches and soft brushes on their forehead and cheeks.
If you’re not sure whether or not a cat is enjoying the petting, observe their body language as explained earlier. If the cat is thrashing their tail, avoiding or swatting your hands, or hissing, you should definitely give them some space. However, if they are purring, kneading their paws, leaning closely into you, or seem relaxed, they’re likely enjoying the nice massage! Since every cat is different, it is important to approach petting with a “trial-and-error” mindset. Try petting them in different places (while allowing them time on their own in between tries, of course) and watching their reactions closely. Eventually, you’ll learn where and where not to pet your specific cat.
4. Take The Backseat
Though it may seem counter-intuitive, especially if you’re unfamiliar with cats, letting a cat take the lead can be key to establishing a loving relationship with them. This method may be time-consuming and make you feel stagnant, but be patient with your cat. One of the most common misconceptions about cats is that they don’t want a relationship with you. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth!
Most cats are very interested in establishing relationships with their owners and actually enjoy contact with humans. However, they usually prefer for it to be on their own terms. One study conducted by researchers in Switzerland suggests that interactions between cats and humans that are initiated by the cats last longer and tend to be more meaningful. Alternately, interactions initiated by humans tend to be much shorter.
5. Be Receptive
While you’ve already learned to observe a cat’s body language, we haven’t discussed how you should react to their body language. Something to remember is not to take rejection personally when it comes to cats. A cat may be receptive and inviting to your affection and attention one minute and want nothing to do with you the next. It isn’t personal! They just need lots of space and may dislike affection over long periods. Furthermore, acknowledge what they seem to enjoy! Overall, just pay attention to their behavior and react accordingly. And most importantly, know when to step away and give them some space.
6. Play With Them Often
Playing with your cat can be an excellent bonding experience for both of you! If you make sure to supply your cat with plenty of interactive toys such as feather toys and plush mice, you can both enjoy playtime. The presence of an interactive toy can be a great medium for bonding with your cat. Not only does it provides them with something to do, but it can also make them associate you with “fun,” making bonding all the more likely.
In fact, a study conducted in 2017 through Elsevier confirms that the presence of an interactive toy strengthens bonding sessions between cats and humans. So, if you want to maximize your time with your cat, get an interactive toy to entertain the both of you! Bonding intentions aside, you should be playing with your cat regularly anyway. Most cats need at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. What better way to get them moving than a play session?
7. Make Sure Their Needs Are Met
While this may sound like the most obvious point, it’s sometimes overlooked. By making sure that your cat is well-fed, clean, and well stimulated, you are laying the most important foundations for a loving, trusting relationship. A bored, lethargic, and inactive cat is not going to be healthy, happy, or interested in forming a bond with you. If you think about it, the same applies to us humans. We likely to bond with people who take care of us. As simple as this is, sometimes the simplest answers are the right answers!
8. Mimic Your Cat’s Behavior
While it may seem odd, mimicking your cat’s behavior can actually be an excellent way to communicate with them. Before you panic, NO, I don’t mean you need to start licking yourself or replacing your toilet with a litter box.
As mentioned earlier, slow blinking is often a signal that your cat is relaxed and friendly. According to a research study in the Scientific Reports Journal, cats often will exhibit what is known as the “slow-blink sequence” when they are experiencing positive communication. Slow blinking is how cats communicate friendliness to each other, so replicating that behavior will let them know that you want to establish a relationship. The same article suggests that research proves human-cat bonding is strengthened by mutual slow-blink sequences. How fascinating is that?
That is just one example of how you can replicate a cat’s behavior to show them that you are friendly. You can also greet your cat in a way that is similar to how friendly cats greet each other. Typically, cats that get along will greet each other with a nose boop or headbutt. You can replicate this behavior by holding your finger out towards their nose. If they understand and are feeling friendly in return, they might just meet you in the middle for a finger-nose boop.
9. Simply Cohabitate
Simply being around a cat for extended periods is a good way to establish the basics of a relationship with them. It often takes time for cats to adjust and familiarize themselves with new people. Unlike dogs, who will run up and investigate any new people that enter their space, a cat is likely to do the opposite. However, if you spend enough time around cats, they will eventually decide to investigate.
It is important to note that while you may be cohabitating, you still need to consider their needs. Do not overwhelm the cat by constantly approaching them. Stay still and allow them to make the first move. After enough time has passed and they have gotten used to your presence in their space, they are likely to come introduce themselves. If it doesn’t happen right away, just be patient. Some cats need much for time to become comfortable than others.
10. Take Your Scent Into Consideration
Cats are heavily reliant on scents when evaluating the world around them. They use scent to establish territories and consider nearby animals. If you find that a cat is avoiding you and reacting negatively to you, it might be your scent. For example, if you wear heavy perfume or cologne or you have a dog at home, a cat may be more hesitant around you. Cats also tend to dislike strong smells. Interestingly, a cat’s sense of smell is about 14 times stronger than humans! So what smells like a hint of perfume to you could smell like a full-out perfume shop to your cat.
Associate Professor Lindsay K. Merkel of the University of Minnesota College of Veterinary Medicine theorizes that most scents cats dislike remind them of threats. They base a lot of their perceptions of the world and of danger upon the smells they come across. So, make sure to consider how you smell if you’re having trouble bonding with your cat.
Sources
https://www.sciencedirect.com/
Disclaimer: The Purring Journal is not in the medical field. This post is made for entertainment purposes only. Use the information presented in this article at your own risk. Always seek medical advice from licensed veterinarians.
